Oh honey, after hitting the big 4-0, who else feels like there’s a teeny tiny, nagging inner voice (let’s call her “Brenda”) telling you to have it ALL together? Like, yesterday. Yes, Brenda’s checklist: smashing career, green smoothie in hand, Pilates at 5 am – and darling, let’s not forget that perfect cat-eye eyeliner. Sound familiar? But here’s a secret: Brenda doesn’t know jack. It’s all about YOU. So, grab your comfiest pajamas (because Brenda says they’re not chic) and let’s chat about how to actually create YOUR perfect life after 40.
The 40-plus Fairytale: What Does It Look Like?
Ok, first off, what’s the dream life after 40? Forget those stock photos of women laughing at salads or those ‘how-to-have-it-all’ magazine spreads. It’s not about fitting a mold. It’s about what sets your heart on fire. For one friend of mine, it’s becoming the office rock star and having the corner office. For another, it’s quitting the 9-5, starting a pet llama farm, and painting sunsets. Curating the perfect life is not an illusion and flowery words. It really is something tangible and within reach. The trick is to be intentional about it in the present and not to tell yourself, ‘Oh once, the children are off to uni, I will have time to myself and then I will start the business I’ve always dreamt of having.’
So, my fiesty friend, grab a glass of your favourite drink (or tea, or water, or literally anything) and dream a little. Ask yourself: “What do I wake up excited about?” “What’s on my life’s bucket list?” Let’s get crystal clear on what YOU want. What is your perfectly curated life about? Here’s the thing: you’ve paid your dues to society. At this age, do yu really still give a toss what Steve in the corner thinks of you? Do you? Well, you shouldn’t. You should see this chapter in your life as your time to be free and to be authentically you. Because, honestly, if not now, then when?
Mirror, Mirror On The Wall… Where Am I At?
Alright, before we start conquering the world, let’s see where we stand. Let’s call it: Life’s Inventory Check (or as I like to say, “Is my closet more ‘hoarder’ or ‘minimalist’ right now?”). Dive deep into your current gig, your squad, your health game, and your passions. Questions to ponder while sipping that drink: “Is my job feeling more like ‘The Office’ sitcom or an office nightmare?” “Are my friends lifting me up or more drama than a reality TV show?” “Is my self-care game strong or more like, ‘Oops, I forgot to drink water today?’”
No guilt trips here, just real, raw reflections. In our forties is also when we will be entering the dreaded men-o-pause. Or as I like to call it, ‘our not-so-silent-disco phase.’ This is going to be the period when you are really going to have to be your own best friend, cheerleader, nurturer, carer and inspiration. Having been through the menopause and now being on the tail end of it, I can safely say, that it has been one of the most challenging experiences I’ve had to endure. Therefore, being kind to yourself and the bitchy middle-aged woman in the queue is the best idea. We know her struggle! Please check out this ebook I wrote especially for menopausal women and then one also for their unsuspecting partners.
Your Life’s GPS: Setting The Course
Setting goals after 40 is kind of like planning a girls’ trip. You wouldn’t just say, “Let’s go somewhere fun.” No, you’d pick a place, book tickets, and probably start outfit planning! So, instead of saying, “I want to glow up,” jot down exactly how you plan to sparkle and shine. Whether it’s bossing up at work, finally starting that Etsy shop, or mastering the tango, make your goals scream YOU.
Now, babe, don’t try to climb all the mountains at once. What gets you jumping out of bed in the morning? Focus there first. And hey, if halfway up, you realise you’d rather be on the beach – it’s okay to change your mind and your goals. Your journey, your rules.
De-Clutter Your Life Vibes: Kicking Out The Bad Juju
Post-40, if we’ve learned anything, it’s that we just don’t have time for negativity. Think of your life as a smartphone; you wouldn’t want any unnecessary apps (toxic friends, self-doubt, binge-watching sad soap operas) draining your battery, right? So, let’s Marie Kondo this: if it doesn’t spark joy, thank it (or not) and send it packing.
Do you have that “friend” who’s more like a human rain cloud? Or that cookie habit which seemed fun at first but now feels like a sugar-overloaded regret? Yep, we all do. The trick? Recognise and lovingly (or not-so-lovingly) shove them out of your life. Yes, girl, even if it feels like breaking up with your favourite worn-out heels – sometimes you’ve just gotta let go! Curating the perfect life, is really about that. Trying your best to balance your life in the areas that need balancing. too many energy vampires in your life? Shove them into the sunlight so that they can fizzle away. Too many fake user-friends? Learn to say no, with a smile on your face. You really have no more time to give to people who do not earn your valuable attention anymore.
Daily Doses of ‘Me-Time’ and Growth Spurts
Let’s get real: we’re queens at putting everyone and their dog before ourselves. But what if we took a hot minute (or thirty) daily just for us? Now, self-care doesn’t always mean spa days or Bali retreats (though that’d be nice). Sometimes it’s just reading a chapter of a juicy novel, mastering that killer dance move, or treating ourselves to some luxurious bubble baths.
And hey, while we’re on this self-love journey, let’s sprinkle in some personal growth. Dive into a workshop, start that quirky hobby you’ve been eyeing, or maybe learn the fine art of coffee-tasting! Set those dates with yourself and keep them. You wouldn’t ditch your BFF’s brunch date, so don’t ditch yourself!
Your Fab 40’s Squad: Choose Your Peeps Wisely
Behind every powerful woman in her prime is a tribe of other fab women who’ve got her back. Our 40s are the time to truly cherish our ride-or-dies and maybe prune away the “meh” ones. No more surrounding ourselves with energy vampires or keeping up with “the Joneses.”
Find those gems who cheer louder for your wins than you do. The ones who’ll have an impromptu dance-off with you or who’ll bring over ice cream for no reason at all. And, remember: It’s a two-way street. Pour into them just as they pour into you. As they say, it’s not about the number of friends but the quality of the friendships. So, here’s to deep chats, endless laughter, and bonds stronger than our favourite hairspray!
Chasing The Spark: Unleashing Your Inner Enthusiast
40s, shmorties! Age is but a number, and our passions? Limitless! Ready to dabble in painting? Shake a leg in dance? Or pluck those guitar strings? Dive into those hidden desires that make your heart skip a beat! Because, darling, there’s a world of wonders out there just waiting to be explored. And who knows? Today’s hobby might just be tomorrow’s calling. So, lace up those adventurous boots and let your passions lead the way!
Count Your Rainbows, Not Your Storms: The Gratitude Glow-Up
Let’s be honest, life throws us lemons – sometimes a whole truckload. But every time we focus on what’s glittering and golden in our lives, we’re brewing some grade-A lemonade! From the laughter-filled brunches with friends to those quiet mornings with a cuppa, there’s so much to be thankful for. Starting today, let’s count our blessings, not our wrinkles. And remember, even on cloud-filled days, gratitude is our sunshine.
Flaw-some & Phenomenal: Rocking The Imperfectly Perfect Vibe
Dear beautiful souls, let’s set the record straight: ‘Perfection’ is an illusion. Embrace your quirks, own your story, and remember that your so-called ‘flaws’? They’re what make you distinctively YOU. Those laugh lines? They’re badges of countless chuckles. That scar? It’s a testament to resilience. So let’s swap the magnifying glass for rose-tinted glasses and cherish every bit of our magnificent, messy selves! And when that sly self-doubt creeps in? Shower yourself with kindness, and let your cheer squad remind you of your awesomeness. A lovely website to refer to for fabulous mind, body and soul transformative advice is Mind Body Green.
So, lovelies, let’s toast to thriving in our 40s, prioritising our joys, and dancing like everyone (or no one) is watching! In the wonderful world of 40 and beyond, let’s remember: Life’s too short for anything less than passion-filled days, gratitude-soaked moments, and an unabashed love for our beautiful, imperfect selves. 40 and beyond is about curating your perfect life, chasing your joy, not society’s checklist. So, here’s to crafting a life that even Brenda would be jealous of!
